Disney Memories

The first time I went to Disney, I was about 12, my brother was 9, and my kid sisters were about 4. It was the perfect vacation for my sisters. I, personally, at the sullen age that I was at, thought it was the most BORING vacation ever. Epcot sucked. The teacups sucked. Mickey sucked. The road trip to and from Jersey sucked. (There were a lot of fights that broke out in that backseat!)

So, you can imagine that I have pretty much dreaded going back to Disney once I had kids. The way I saw it, it was something I knew I had to do at some point for the kids and that I just kind of wanted to get over with, kind of like ripping off a bandaid. Just suck it up and do it. So, that's what we did this past week--went to Disney.

Funny thing is, I thought it was one of our best vacations ever and I would definitely go back again! LOL. I can't even believe I'm saying that! I'm more into visiting historical sites or travel abroad or exotic beach locations, so it's funny to me that I enjoyed something as commercial as Disney. It really does have something for everyone, though. My personal love is ROLLERCOASTERS. Fortunately, my kids are just as crazy as my husband and I and love rollercoasters. And, even luckier, my son is exactly 44 inches, so we were able to ride all but one rollercoaster with the two of them! Besides coasters, we had some other fun times on our vacation. I want to make sure I remember them so I thought I'd write down the highlights:

Day 1: Traveling

It was my birthday and I was cranky because we had to wake up at 3 in the morning to get to the airport. We all felt better when we finally arrived and checked into our condo. We got upgraded to a 3 bedroom condo since the first one didn't have hot water. And, the kids were excited to see that we had an awesome pool. We had dinner at a Macaroni Grill and the kids and my husband gave me a couple of sweet birthday cards and a beautiful bracelet. :) Went to bed early so we could be ready for our first day at the Disney parks.

Day 2: Epcot

The forecast was for showers in the afternoon, so we thought we'd start the trip at Epcot since it didn't seem like there would be much to do there. (Yes, I was wrong!) My kids especially loved the Test Track, which is a simulated car-test track by GM, with a thrilling race car drive at the end. They also loved Mission to Mars, which is a simulated spaceship ride to Mars. D. was actually tall enough to go on the "intense" ride. We were all assigned different roles which I thought were funny: I got "Commander", my husband got "Navigator", my daughter got "Pilot" and my son got "Engineer". (I thought it was funny they gave us those spots since I like to think that's kind of the way it works at home, too. LOL.) Unfortunately, though, I got motion-sick on this and my husband was able to make jokes like, "Hey, did you notice our Commander get really quiet towards the end of our spaceflight? (chuckle, chuckle...)" Oh well. At least I didn't throw up!

We didn't even end up going to the International side (my favorite) til the evening. Then, I wished we had more time to stay. We had dinner at the Japanese restaurant there and my kids actually used chopsticks successfully for the first time! They didn't try sushi, but ate chicken tempura and some edamame. My husband and I had sushi...the "Volcano" sushi was excellent!

Day 3: Animal Kingdom/Pool Party

This is a totally underrated park. We almost didn't go but it turned out to be very fun! How many zoos do you know of that have a rollercoaster?

As soon as we got to the park, we made a bee-line for Expedition: Everest (the rollercoaster) to get a fast pass so we wouldn't have to wait in line.

(The Fast Pass at Disney is a little known, ingenious system. You use your tickets in a machine by the ride to get passes that tell you when to come back--usually a couple of hours later--so that you can avoid waiting in a 50 minute line. When you come back at the designated time, they take you right on! It's awesome and a MUST if you are going during a busy time. We pretty much never waited in any long lines. The only downside is that you must use up a fast pass before you can get another one. That's not too bad, though, because there are only a few rides at each of the parks with really horrendous waiting times.)

In the meantime, we walked through a zoo area with tigers and monkeys and exotic birds. Then, we watched an awesome bird show. My favorite was seeing the gorgeous bald eagle. I don't think I've ever seen one that close up.

Then, it was time for Expedition: Everest! My son D. just made the 44 inch height requirement and we plunged into a rollercoaster made to simulate a Mount Everest hike, complete with a scary Yeti that pops out while you're in the dark in the mountain. We were screaming our heads off! And my son had his hands up in the air the whole time. So cute.

Later, we went on the Kilimanjaro Safari, a simulated safari-ride. (I love the fact that all the Disney "cast" that operates all their rides in all the parks are such good actors! They really get into their roles and try to make you feel like you're really in Africa, or Mars, or a fairytale land, or a haunted mansion...very cool!) Anyway, we saw the gators that my daughter was afraid of seeing, and a whole bunch of other cool animals. The ride was purposely very bumpy, too, for effect.

The last thing we did was the Kali River Rapids (got fast passes for the end of the day). I love watching the kids' faces on these rides when they're getting soaked or going down a steep drop. Adorable!

Left in the late afternoon to go to a pool party at our friends' condo. They had come down for spring break too with their kids. Our kids played and had a great time together. Pool and pizza. What could be better?

Day 4: Magic Kingdom

Where fairytales come true...

This was, as expected, the most crowded of the parks. But, fortunately, we heard that we came at a relatively good time, post-peak, with only about 35, 000 people in the parks per day. (LOL. I know that doesn't sound like few people, but apparently, duing peak season, they get upwards of 85, 000 people! I can't even imagine, because it seemed plenty crowded to me.)

Regardless, we used the fast pass technique, and painlessly got on the most popular rides without much wait, so that was great. Our favorites were Splash Mountain, Big Thunder Mountain, and Space Mountain. My son also enjoyed racing a "car" at the Indie Speedway. We did the Teacups, of course, and I enjoyed it more than I had at 12 since it was fun to watch my kids having fun.

We also got to meet a lot of characters here and get their "autographs" (insert snarky laugh here), including Cinderella, Belle, Aurora, Mickey and Minnie, Donald Duck, Goofy, Buzz, Woody, and Jessie. I'm probably forgetting some...a busy day! We were too tired to stay and watch the evening parade and fireworks and decided to come back on the last day for a second go-around.

Day 5: Hollywood Studios

I thought this place would be the dud, but no...No Disney park is a dud! First thing we did was get fast passes for the Tower of Terror, which is a frightening elevator drop in an old, abandoned and haunted "Hollywood" hotel. Probably my favorite ride since I was the most surprised on it. It drops you, then lifts you up, then drops you again and it's hard to predict when it's over. A total scream!

Then, my husband and I took turns going "single rider" on the Aerosmith Rock and Rollercoaster. This was the only ride that my kids couldn't go on since you had to be 48 inches tall. Lots of G forces. Aerosmith music blaring. Pretty awesome and prob my husband's favorite ride since he's a big Aerosmith fan. Too bad we couldn't ride it together...We'll have to take the kids back someday and do it as a family.

(Aside: The "single rider" option is also a little known, ingenious system. If you go in this line on any ride, you have no wait at all! They just use people from this line to fill in gaps in each of the cars that depart.)

One of my very good friends from college who lives in Florida met us at the park around noontime with her kids. I get very nostalgic when I see my old friends and it really chokes me up to see my kids playing with their kids. We had lunch together and as the day progressed, the kids really warmed up to each other. Later, my son and one of her sons signed up for the "Jedi Academy". They dressed up as Padawans in training and got instruction in the ways of the Jedi on stage with a Jedi master and even fought with Darth Vader on their own. Those are some of my favorite pics from the trip. It's so cute to see my tiny son standing up to the evil Darth! Haha...

We also watched an awesome stunt show, took an impressive back lot tour, and met a whole bunch more characters, including Chip and Dale, Mulan, Pluto, and the cast of Up. My kids really enjoyed a ride called Toy Story Midway Mania, too.

Day 6: Pirate Pool/Magic Kingdom

On our last full day, we decided to spend half the day relaxing by the pool. Our condo had an impressive pool complete with a large replica pirate ship with a waterslide that my kids were dying to go on. Unfortunately, you had to be 48 inches tall, so the only one who got to enjoy that portion was me! Heehee. Still, they had an awesome time swimming and going under the showering fountains in the pool.

Later, we met our friends again (the ones who had come down for spring break as well) at Magic Kingdom and we saw the afternoon parade and stage show with all of our kids. Our kids enjoyed going on Big Thunder Mountain, Cinderella's Carousel, Dumbo the Flying Elephant ride, Peter Pan's flight, the Haunted Mansion, the Teacups, the Indie Speedway, Buzz Lightyear's Ranger Spin, and the It's a Small World ride together. (Looking at this list now, I can't believe we did all that in half a day!)

In the evening, we said goodbye to our friends and went to Disney Downtown for our last dinner in Disney at the House of Blues. Then, we took them to the World of Disney store and let them pick out a souvenir. My daughter got a baby Bambi stuffed animal and my son got a 3-eyed alien (from Toy Story)...and if you knew them, you would know that those are the PERFECT souvenirs for each of them. LOL. Sweet and weird. I love it! We also came home with Mickey T shirts for the kids, Mickey and Minnie jibbitz for their crocs and I got a couple of Disney magnets for my fridge. (That's the souvenir I like to get from our travels...)

Day 7: Traveling

It's always depressing to leave when you've been on vacation, but we were happy with all we got to see and do in a week. We told the kids we'll try to bring them back someday and my daughter asked if it could be next year! I think I'm going to say we'll go back when they're both 48 inches...:)

Modern Times, Modern Parenting

My 7 year old daughter came home from school recently and made the following announcement: "Mom, my friend S. said that in some states, men can marry men and women can marry women."

It would be an understatement to say I was shocked. I, myself, had no clue what it meant when people used the word "gay" until I was 10 years old and in the fifth grade, so I guess I just expected my 7 year old to have no idea either.

But, alas, these are less repressed times than when I grew up. (And that is certainly a good thing...)

I feel silly now for being so naive as to think my kids WOULDN'T notice. I mean, how many times have we been out and seen gay couples? Don't they probably have schoolmates whose parents are gay? Haven't I watched the news with them when the topics have been gay rights and same sex marriage? And how many times have we listened to "I Kissed a Girl" by Katie Perry on the radio?

Obviously, my kids are not stupid, and it was stupid of me to assume that they wouldn't figure it out.

Anyway, it turned out to be a great thing. I remembered that when I was 10 (and finally figured out what "gay" meant) that the LAST people I would've wanted to talk to about it would've been my parents. They would not have engaged me in conversation about something which in their generation (and with their backgrounds) would have been considered so deviant. I guess I must have known that at the age of 10, too, and that was probably why I avoided the topic with them.

So, though I was shocked, I was also really happy that she was talking to ME about it. Obviously, she was not afraid to bring it up and that is a good thing. (Hopefully, she's not afraid to bring up other stuff in the future, too.) This way, I can make sure she's getting the right information. (I can still remember being so confused at the age of 10, having heard about gay people from a few girl friends in class, who had only rudimentary knowledge themselves. For the longest time back then, I thought "gay" meant what I now know to mean "hermaphrodite"!)

Anyway, after my daughter made her announcement, my 5 year old son, who was in the room, exclaimed, "What! If men can marry men, then one man would have to be the woman and that would be WRONG!"

He looked pretty outraged. (That was another thing that made me realize it was actually great that we were having this conversation now, while they were still young and malleable.)

So, I said, "Actually, she's right. Men can marry men and women can marry women. Most people marry their opposite, but some people like to be with the same. And if two men are together, one of them doesn't have to be "the woman". They can both be men and be together."

You can imagine the controversy that ensued. They then wanted to know what else people could marry. Could you marry anything? Like stuffed animals? How about other inanimate objects? Actually, it got a little ridiculous, but I kept repeating that PEOPLE could only marry other PEOPLE, and they finally got it.

They seem too young to know what exactly it means for two people to marry each other, so I finally just said, "Well, if you want to get married someday--and you don't have to if you don't want to--you can marry a man or a woman. Probably you'll marry the opposite. Someday you'll know who you want to marry, a man or a woman. Don't worry about it right now."

I'm hoping that's all they need to know for at least a few more years...!!!

Sexism is Alive and Well

There are many things about my Indian culture that I love: the history, the scientific discoveries, the art, the music, the fashion, the food, the religious and the philosophical histories.

One thing that I can't stand, however, is our tradition of backwards thinking about women and their roles in society. I'm certainly not speaking for ALL Indian people, but there are still a large number of Indian men AND women who buy into the notion that women are inferior to, less intelligent than, and less capable than men.

It may seem hard to believe in this modern age that sexism is still rampant, but I can assure you that it is. I have experienced it first-hand, I have seen it growing up in a large Indian community in New Jersey, and I have heard about it from the patients I care for as a women's health professional, and from the experiences of my friends and family members.

Sometimes it is blatant: physical, sexual, or verbal abuse. But, sometimes, it's more subtle. Sometimes, it's just making a woman feel stupid, feel worthless, feel like she doesn't know as well, doesn't have the same rights as her boyfriend or spouse or father or guardian, that she doesn't have the right to even determine her own destiny or make her own decisions. Women, being physically smaller and weaker than their testosteroned counterparts, are mistakenly viewed as weaker in other areas, like their intellect and judgement. It makes me so angry! Sometimes, I want to go to a rooftop and scream:

A PENIS DOES NOT MAKE YOU A SMARTER OR BETTER PERSON!

Now, I know some of you will think I'm man-bashing right there, but I assure you that I'm just as likely to assert:

A VAGINA ALSO DOES NOT MAKE YOU A SMARTER OR BETTER PERSON!

I wish everyone would just realize that what actually makes a smarter and better person is EDUCATION. Ignorance, in my opinion, is the root cause of all the evil in the world.

Why do so many cultures de-value women? Is the cause religion? Is the cause herd mentality? Is it brainwashing? I have no idea. But I know the solution: to be aware, to observe and report it, to not let it slide, and to EDUCATE, EDUCATE, EDUCATE this and the next generation that women have the same intellectual abilities and rights as men.

Anyway, I found the following very interesting checklist on my internet exploits about what causes the faulty thinking behind sexism...I thought I'd reprint it here for those interested...I think it's good to know the cause when trying to find a cure:

FAULTY BELIEFS HELD BY SEXIST CULTURES:

1. Women are inherently evil (dishonest, manipulative, unfaithful, untrustworthy, etc.)

2. Women are inherently sexual beings.

3. Women are reduced to their "bodily" aspects, at the expense of their spiritual or intellectual selves.

4. Women are reduced to objects, who live in a man's world where the men are viewed as the predominant actors and/or subjects.

5. Women are inherently weaker than their male counterparts.

6. Women need to be properly controlled by--or governed by--men.

7. Women are powerless to help themselves or others.

8. Women are reduced to care-givers. They are praised for empowering (helping, mothering, assisting) others and condemned for helping themselves.

Twenty Years Later

Twenty years ago this month, I nearly killed myself and all of my best friends.

It was my 18th birthday. I was a senior in high school, graduating in only a few months, and looking forward to going to Boston University in the fall. I had many reasons to celebrate.

I had recently gotten my driver's license, after many pain-staking and frustrating lessons with my father all over northern New Jersey. In honor of my birthday, my aunt had graciously offered up her brand-new burgundy Toyota Corolla (it still smelled new) to take my friends out for lunch. I accepted her offer without hesitation.

I took all my best girl friends in my aunt's car and a couple of guy friends took another car and we went to a Pizza Hut for lunch. We had a great time. I still have the pictures (which I never look at but also am afraid to throw away) to prove it. We are all mugging for the camera, smiling, happy, and ignorant of what would happen only a short while later.

On the way back, I followed the guys' car from downtown Jersey City, taking Route 1 and 9. If you are not familiar with it, it is a high speed highway with occasional lights. At some intersections, there are no lights and you may make turns to the left, if you are cautious and speed through when there are no vehicles that are coming in your direction. It was at one of these spots where we paused, signalling to make a left turn, my car behind the car I was following. When the guys' car turned at a break in the traffic, I, too, turned, failing to pause a moment and see if there was enough of a break in the on-coming traffic for my car to also make it.

I don't remember the car that struck us, who was driving it, what I saw or felt in those few moments. It happened so fast. A blink, and my aunt's car was totalled, crushed on the passenger's side, and all of my friends and I tossed in its interior. I was removed from the vehicle, shaking, heart racing, but otherwise unhurt. My friends were removed also, one of them--my very best friend who had sat on the passenger's side--taken away in a neck brace by ambulance.

My father arrived and I wished in that moment that I really had died. It would be easier than facing him, I thought. But, strangely, he had nothing to say to me, except to hold me in his arms tightly like I was 3 years old again. I don't remember if he cried, but it felt as if he did.

Somehow, my friends were unscathed. I don't know how it was possible that all of us walked away from such a severely mangled vehicle without an injury. Over the years, I sometimes visit that day and think of all the different things that could have happened and how different my life (and my friends' lives) might have been. I could have died. They could have died. I could have lost limbs. They could have lost limbs. I could have been paralyzed. They could have been paralyzed.

As the years pass, that one day, to me, seems more and more important. If things had been different, I wouldn't have finished school, I wouldn't have gotten married, I wouldn't have had children, I wouldn't do all the things I do today and will do tomorrow.

Each day after that day is a gift.

I have been bad about keeping touch with my high school friends. Our paths diverged. In recent years, I've found most of my best high school girl friends back on Facebook. To see their smiling pictures on Facebook is a comfort. To know that I didn't ruin their lives on that horrible day is a comfort. To know they would still speak to me, consider me a friend, is a comfort.

In a couple of months, I'll be going to my 20 year high school reunion. I wasn't sure before if I would go. It's so easy to get caught up in your busy life and make excuses: I have work, I have the kids' piano recital the day after, I'll be doing 8 hours of driving in one day, etc.,etc....

But then I remembered my 18th birthday--a day that could have ended in so many horrible ways, but thankfully, ended in the way it did, with everyone alive and well.

I can't wait to see my high school friends again. I want to know all the great things they've managed to do in all the time that I could have stolen from them.

Twenty years, like a car crash, pass in a blink.